The One That Got Away
When I met Janey, it was love at first sight. I know that sounds stupid and immature, but it was. I saw her and my heart melted. There was one problem though: I’d been dating her mother, Meredith, for almost a year.
I know, I know, I know. Don’t shit where you eat. I get that now. Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson, but I was a different person then.
How did you not see Janey until later on in the relationship? Why didn’t Meredith introduce you earlier?
Janey just wasn’t ever around.
Anyways, I knew Janey loved me as much as I loved her, but she would never reciprocate those feelings. I never tried anything when Mere was around, but when she was gone I would ask Janey to run away with me.
To be with me.
To love me.
Janey’s answers were always infuriating. She never seemed that interested; she usually just ignored everything I said, playing hard to get. I would end up yelling and she would end up screaming.
Match made in heaven, right?
Sometimes when the anger bubbled over I would grab her shoulders and shake her like a rag doll. She would just scream louder at me. She was kinda cute when she’d get all red in the face and that vein in the middle of her forehead stood out, but like I said, it was infuriating.
Meredith and I fought sometimes, but it was nothing like the fights Janey and I would have. I think it was just that I loved her so much and she never returned my love in the way I needed it.
Sometimes Janey would just start screaming at me for no reason. Guys, you know what I’m talking about. You come home after a long day at work, but you forgot to bring food with you and you were supposed to remember. A simple mistake. Don’t lie, you know you’ve done it before.
The last big fight that Janey and I had before I split was the worst. Meredith was at some stupid film festival downtown. She said that if she didn’t get out of the house, she’d go crazy. She needed to reconnect with her girlfriends. Have some girl time or whatever.
That was fine with me. I liked being alone with Janey. I like to think that Janey liked me being there too.
So I’d left the house for a little to go rent a DVD for Janey and I to watch. I came home to full on screaming and screeching. The whole nine. The curses Janey was using didn’t even register, because I couldn’t understand a thing she was saying. I guess she didn’t like the DVD I picked.
I tried to calm her down. I told her I’d run out right then and get a different movie, something better. It wasn’t a big deal. I could fix it.
She wasn’t having it though.
She screamed at me even more.
I told her I loved her. I got down on my knees and begged for her to calm down, to just stop screaming at me and love me for once in her goddamned life. I’m fucking typing this through blurry eyes as I think about it. Manly tears, chopping onions, all that. Janey wouldn’t stop screaming at me though.
Just. Wouldn’t. Stop.
I hugged her to my chest and told her it would be okay. We could be together. We could be happy together. She screamed even louder. Right in my fucking ear.
So I threw her against the wall.
Janey was tough, I thought she could take it. I heard something crunch when she hit the wall. Then she fell the five feet to the ground. Her head cracked against the tile. It’s fucked up, but I started laughing. Have you ever opened your mouth in a big O and knocked on the top of your skull with your knuckles?
That’s the noise her skull made as it cracked against the tile.
I left her there. I left her there on the tile, the blood pouring from her ears and nose soaking into her jammies.
I called Mere and told her that there’d been an accident.
I told her that I’d dropped our baby girl.